A new attending reached out: “I’m struggling to balance my interest in medicine with time for my family, other interests outside of my career, and finding enough time to rest. How do I set boundaries at work?”
If you, like the physician above, are facing something similar, know that most of us have felt this way at some point or another. A career in medicine can often feel all-consuming.
We throw ourselves into years of intense schooling, training, and post-training careers.
The message throughout our education and training is often this: Work hard. Sacrifice your time, health, and relationships for your grades, your career, and your patients.
This is meaningful and important work, yes. But we are human, too. We deserve the health we strive so hard to give to others.
You are deserving of an interesting, meaningful career AND health AND interests outside your career AND time for your relationships.
We are human beings, too.
To carve out time for everything beyond your career, getting really clear on what you want is essential, and then setting boundaries to protect this as much as you can. Get creative in setting up your life to protect your health and relationships.
You have options and more negotiating power than you may realize. These options include your specialty or focus within your field, your type of practice, the cost of living where you choose to be, and (of course) your schedule.
In my career, I’ve made several carefully selected choices to protect my well-being, relationships, and interest in writing fiction. I chose to specialize in medical oncology, a field with meaningful patient relationships and few overnight emergencies. I work in a large academic practice, which allows me to limit overnight call and weekend shifts. While still working full time, I have two flexible days where I often attend meetings, catch up on clinical work, and work on novel writing. I also work closely with a registered nurse who supports me in clinic, helps with insurance issues, and answers inbox messages.
My family and I have chosen to stay in the middwest, where the cost of living is low. We bought a modest home and continue to live below our means. I generally have a regular sleep schedule, exercise consistently, and go to therapy. My family and I take a vacation about three to four times a year.
I’ve also learned (and I’m still learning) to set boundaries with work and social media. I’m on several committees, advisory councils, and projects (I said yes a lot initially), and now I’ve had to learn to say no.
It’s hard to say no, especially to colleagues you like and respect. You want to be a team player. You want to share the work. And certainly, you do so. It’s also important to reflect on what aspects of your career and interests within your career and beyond are most important to you.
For me, these “buckets” are GI oncology, writing, clinician wellbeing, and humanism in medicine. If I’m asked to do something that falls within one of my “buckets,” I’m more likely to say yes. However, if it’s an ask outside of this, I’m more inclined to say no.
We only have a certain number of hours in a day, a week, a life. We have to protect this time, or it just disappears into more tasks to complete.
Having a career and maintaining your health and relationships along the way is an ongoing process, a series of continual decisions. Know that you continue making decisions that move you towards greater health and well-being.
Wishing you clarity and the courage to keep making the right decisions for you.